"People are more inclined to use the word "like" in absurd demonstrations of stupidity."

-Andrew Jensen, Associated Content


*THE FOLLOWING ENTRY IS RATED R FOR, LIKE, DISTURBING CONTENT AND INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE. SOME MATERIAL MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN UNDER, LIKE, I DON'T KNOW...17.*

Have you ever really listened to a girl's conversation without mentally trashing all the unnecessary filler words?
I never really had set out to do so, and one day, the word "like" caught my attention in a conversation I overheard between two girls near me.

Girl #1: Omg, like, did you frickin see (insert male name)'s new girlfriend. Like, seriously, what was he even thinking (no question mark at the end of this sentence because really it's just meant to be a statement to this girl). It just really, like, surprised me, you know? I was just like, how in the world did they end up together.

#2: OMG! I LIKE TOTALLY KNOW! What the heck? It's, so, like, you know, like...RANDOM! They, like, never even talked. Plus she's like fugly as hell. She was like ALLLLL over him at the football game. It was like nasty. I had to turn my eyes. They're so like....ewwww together.

#2: Like seriously, man. What has the world, like even come to? I don't even know. It's all just like, so messed up.

This conversation actually happened. Maybe a little less exaggerated, but it did. And I didn't exaggerate the use of the word "like".
But don't get the idea that, because I'm criticizing these girls' word choice, I am not guilty of making the same mistakes. You'd find that I, like, use the word "like", like a whole lot.
And "man", even if I'm talking to a girl (which my parents advised me against, telling me it'd make me sound too hippyish, which made me want to use the word even more. Hippies are awesome).
And "fuckin" (excuse the bad language).
And "seriously" (even if I'm not being serious)
and "Oh"
and "My"
and "God"
and "you know what I mean?"
and "I don't even know" (although sometimes I do exclude the 'even')
as well as a variety of other useless words that don't add significance to whatever I'm trying to say.

Seriously, like, sometimes I just make myself sound like so fuckin stupid. I don't even know, man. I like, want to sound, smart. You know what I mean? I want people to think I'm, like, intelligent. I don't want them to be all like: "Oh my Goddddd, this chick's so fuckin stupid." I just really don't want that, like seriously, you know?

That, unfortunatley, is something that one may hear coming from my mouth. It's tragic, I know, but alas, very true.
I wish my speaking was more refined and made me sound a little less similar just another catty high school girl. From this moment forth I will do my very best to eliminate useless fillers from a conversation. The "L" word will be totally eliminated from my vocabulary. I will now, when comparing something, use the following: 'such as', 'similar to', etc. etc.
When I want to talk about the emotion I feel towards somebody I will use the words "fond of".

And so it begins...

This guy sure agrees with me.