Ideally

When I grow up I'd like to live somewhere else. Indulge in a bohemian lifestyle (and I don't mean I want to grow up and become a hippy or live a "rent"like lifestyle. blech).

I wanna improve my very limited knowledge of the French language. I'd like to move to France and spend my time writing, taking pictures, listening to records, smoking weed and cigarettes. Using the very little money I get from the very few works that I've gotten published to buy my weed and my cigarettes and a variety of organic food from a local farmer that I would have made friends with. I would flit around my rundown apartment with the interior brick walls in skimpy night dresses. I'd have a tattoo and my nails would always be painted some dark, muted color.

I'd want to meet cultured people who I would share similar interests with. I'd want a lover who's smarter than me. I'd want to wear my hair wild and long and curly. I'd wear lipstick and powder and blush and line my eyes with dark kohl. I'd use the very little money I'd have left to become a patron of the arts and support my favorite musicians. I'd share my home with other aspiring artists.

Instead I am sitting here now, my eyes red and heavy and hurting from the pathetically minimal amounts of sleep I've been able to get. I've just gotten home from school -high school to be exact, with all its dreary cliches.

At least I've been doing things that have been out of the ordinary this past week and not quite so typical. Last Friday I got to meet one of my idols, Bethany Cosentino. Saturday I went thrifting. Monday I smoked half a cigar and got to meet the outrageously sexy band, School of Seven Bells after having watched them perform a killer show. Tuesday I went around town, stood on the medians of ridiculously busy roads and took pictures of traffic cameras. Did it on I-380, too. Wednesday I saw the Pomegranates, who were such sweethearts and crazy talented. Definitely buying their album.

I've been smoking so much recently, and right now I'm craving a cigarette so badly. I've got one Djarum Black left, and I don't know when I'm going to be able to get a new box or who'll be able to get one for me.

I'll be able to provide them for myself in 3 weeks time.